Wing Girl by Nic Tatano

Wing Girl by Nic Tatano

Author:Nic Tatano
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780007548583
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2014-07-09T16:00:00+00:00


CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Serena’s eyes grew wide and I could tell she’d had a revelation. “Oh my God!” She dropped her fork into her salad plate. “I figured it out!”

My spoonful of soup hovered in mid-air. “Well, don’t keep me in suspense, ‘cause I sure as hell haven’t.”

“You’re the guy in this relationship!” she said.

My face tightened as I put the spoon back into the bowl. “Excuse me?”

“Don’t you get it?” she said. “You’re the guy! You’re the man! The roles are reversed!”

“Wow, you’re right!” said Ariel. “We’ve been approaching this as women, when all along we really needed to think like a guy!”

My palms went up in surrender. “I’m sorry, I still have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Roxanne took one of my hands. “Serena’s right. You’re the one who’s the pursuer.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” I said.

“It makes perfect sense,” said Serena. “This is the classic ‘guy trying to be the first one who nails the virgin’ scenario. It’s more than a courtship, it’s a quest.”

“So let me get this straight,” I said. “First, you guys pull out all the stops giving me a makeover because I look like a librarian and act like Cro-Magnon girl. New hair, new makeup, contacts, entire wardrobe. Then you take me to charm school, during which I have to identify every frigging type of fork in a place setting while spooning my chowder from the back of the bowl. And after all that, after you’ve taken the Brass out of the Cupcake, after you’ve froo-frooed me up so much that I don’t even recognize myself in the mirror and turned me into a slutty seductress with everything but a riding crop, now you’re telling me I need to act like a man?”

“Yeah,” Serena nodded. “That about sums it up.”

“You three have completely lost your minds.”

“No, we haven’t,” said Ariel.

“So,” I said, “I’m supposed to go find my old clothes at Goodwill—”

“You’re missin’ the point,” said Roxanne. “The makeover stuff stays. You don’t have to look like a man, just act like one. It’s always the girl trying to preserve the virginity, not the guy. And it’s always the guy trying to get the girl to give it up. The roles are simply reversed. You’re the girl trying to get the guy to give it up so you can pop his cherry.”

“That’s such a genteel way to put it,” I said.

“Somewhat crass, but accurate,” said Serena.

“So what do I do?” I asked. “Demand that a man have sex with me or I’ll break up with him?”

“That would be a first in the annals of dating,” said Ariel. “But no.”

“What then?” I asked.

“I know exactly who you need to meet,” said Serena. “They’ll know what to do.”

***

I decided to throw myself into my work. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been dedicated, but I needed to take my mind off my frustration. Or, in my case, kick some serious political ass to compensate for Scott not grabbing mine.

Today’s story, I had decided, was going to be a slam dunk.



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